Gaddy’s Corner

GaddySelf-esteem is one powerful force in our lives that doesn’t get enough credit for determining how happy we are and more than often the quality of the lives we live. Although we neglect to, we as women must celebrate ourselves everyday as self-esteem is something that should come natural to any woman. Who runs the world? Girls!

World-famous psychiatrist Elizabeth Kübler-Ross reveals the natural zest women should have for themselves and the world by stating:

  • Women are like stained-glass windows.
  • They sparkle and shine when the sun is out,
  • but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed
  • only if there is a light from within.

Ladies, each and every one of us should have the ability to smile and be radiant even in our lowest of times, but we must recognize and preserve the magic that makes us who we are! Of course there are many events in life that cause us to take our eyes off the prize and brings about darkness even when our light shines the brightest. We have all experienced some form of abuse, neglect, divorce, death, or even disapproval of our own personal appearance. Just when we feel the darkness brought on from our everyday lives has consumed us, our beauty has the ability to shine bright! But how do we flip the switch?

First, let’s define self-esteem. Self-esteem is the realistic respect or favorable impression of oneself. Simply put-it’s all about self-respect and a wealthy sense of self-worth which means we are only able to have self-esteem if we believe in ourselves. What is it that makes you you? Let’s not consider what other’s like about you (often times, an over appreciation for outside opinions can also cause the darkness Kübler-Ross speaks of to take over us), but take the time to consider what it is you like about yourself and your almost there!

I believe there are 3 ways to own ourselves when life gets tough and leads us to increase our self-esteem:


We haven’t forgotten about R&B songstress Heather Headley’s proclamation have we? Tell the world, “I need some ME time”! Me time allows you to reflect, think, learn, understand who you are, what you like, what you have been through, and meditate on accomplishments. This all leads to a greater sense of self-worth. Remember, never compare yourself to others. No one else should be in your mind while you take this time to meditate on yourself. Consider all that you have and wrap your thoughts all around YOU, YOU, YOU!


Ideas and dreams come so easy in our minds; the next step to move these ideas from our minds into action is to believe that you can do it. Remember accomplishments of the past and ask yourself what you can do to upstage yourself, not anyone else, just yourself. Remember this is SELF-esteem we’re working on here!


This is the last part of our 3 part cycle but may be the most important. We all as women must take the time to figure out what keeps us going. Motivational quotes, moments, readings, calendars, or the ability to provide for others are tools that help build confidence and later self-esteem. Find a daily motivational tool and then take the responsibility to consistently use it and if you find that that tool no longer functions to keep you pumping don’t be afraid to let it go and find another. It’s all about progression! Constantly set goals and be relentless in accomplishing them. Success, no matter how big or small, has proven time and time again to allow that light within all of us to make us warm inside; a feeling no one can feel but yourself. If motivation does not come from you, it will not settle in coming from anyone else.

Maintaining this 3 part cycle is the most important part in maintaining high self esteem. Remove all negativity from around you. Once you have spent all the necessary time to realize how wonder you are, begin to spread the power and confidence within to others. Let your story be heard as another way to build self-esteem. If you can motivate just one person, you have contributed to the world in so many ways. Pay it forward. The lives you touch will continue the cycle with someone else. This is how we as women build self-esteem and help fellow women with increase their confidence!

A. Gaddy








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